A new standard
Old habits die hard. I’m in a different season of my life right now. I feel settled. I feel content relationally, professionally, and spiritually. I have good boundaries with others. I don’t feel exhausted and burdened. So why… why do I at times still feel a tinge of jealousy/self comparison/insecurity when I see others achieve? How can I possibly feel genuinely happy and proud for these people and yet feel all of that other stuff spark inside me at the same time? I feel embarrassed to even acknowledge it, immature even. Like, self, “Shouldn’t we be past this?” Here’s the truth-our brains are faster to move on than our emotions. We can rationally know one thing and simultaneously feel another. For so long, I just survived and kept pushing through hard seasons by being “good enough.” For me, this meant helping people, being the “best,” earning people’s admiration or respect, being acknowledged, winning awards, etc. When I felt out of control, knowing I could accomplish those things and
