To Therapy or Not to Therapy? Reflections on my Journey to the Best Me

I went back to the first therapist I ever saw today. It's been three and a half years. I first started going because my graduate program required it. I am so incredibly glad that they did. I saw my therapist for about 9 months in graduate school. I healed from things that I didn't even know were possible because I thought they were simply who I was and how I functioned. We ended that season and I didn't see another therapist for about two years. 

After becoming a parent, I decided it was time to see someone again. I found someone I felt comfortable with. Convenient location, convenient pricing, truly a nice person. Still, I couldn't shake comparing this experience to the first one. After some time, I decided to go back with my first therapist. I had to drive farther and pay more, but I decided I have to live out the message I frequently preach.

It's worth it to make a sacrifice for your mental health and stability.

It felt like yesterday when I last sat on back on that couch. I can't express enough how important and sacred and special it can be to find a safe place to just be truly seen and accepted. Some people interpret this to mean that I don't have other seen and safe places. For me, this is not the case. I am blessed by so many loving and supportive people. Most relationships are reciprocal. They are both give and take. And I, by personality, tend be more of a giver by trade. I have a whole list of people I could call on any day and I know, without a doubt, I would be listened to. And, I would listen to them. Distinctly, there is something exposing and vulnerable about going into a room where the whole hour is about me- no distractions, no expectations for me to do anything for the other, no reciprocity. I cry almost every time I am in this place. I cry in the most freeing way.

I am a therapist myself. I see people wrestle with whether to engage in therapy at all. They have different reasons. Some just don't want to deal with what's going on. Some can't allow themselves to trust or let another person in. Some are not willing to commit their financial resources to this kind of service. Some haven't found the right fit. People sometimes still feel they have to be "sick" to see a counselor. I stay away from being sick by seeing mine. I enjoy being challenged and pushed. I love the accountability not to dismiss emotions or tough stuff that gets swept under the rug due to busyness without it. 

I'm not pushing it on you. But I am encouraging you to consider it. If you automatically dismiss it and say, "That's not for me and I don't need it," I am talking to you. If you tried it, and it didn't "work," I'm talking to you. You don't have one bad haircut or one bad cheeseburger and then sign off from haircuts and cheeseburgers altogether. Talk to your therapist about what you need. And if you aren't getting it, ask around for recommendations. Word of mouth will always be better than any google review. Therapy is a service. It's more than just "venting." We all have room to grow and we are all worthy of a time that's just for us. 

I am a therapist with a therapist and I am proud of it!