What We Gained- A Placement Reflection

As most of you know, we have not had the traditional foster care journey. We “fostered” our boys, but we specifically pursued them with the heart for adoption. This last weekend we had our first experience with an emergency placement. Brett and I have really been torn about how to move forward with our foster license, but we decided to keep our home as an option for emergency short term placements. On Thursday we got a call about a 13 year old boy needing a place to land. No one else would touch him because he had DJJ charges. We said yes. To be honest, I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. What started as a one night stay turned into four. I wasn’t feeling well all weekend and our oldest son wasn’t doing well emotionally. The circumstances weren’t necessarily ideal. He slept on a pull- out couch in our bonus room. It rained all weekend.

Even though we have adopted out of this system, the weightiness of these situations and what these kids go through struck us deeply. He came with 2 trash bags of stuff. His future is unknown. After less than one day, he asked to be adopted and to stay with us. It broke our hearts to not be able to do that at this time. Before he left, he told us he loved us. But I know, I believe with my whole heart, that the safety he felt, the fun he had, the prayers we prayed-mattered. I know it was humbling for our sons to see someone else going through what they have been through. Our youngest showed such compassion for him and patience to a level I haven’t seen before. I pray he keeps in touch and we can continue to be a source of safety for him.

People are always worried about what they will lose by letting children join their families, short or long term. What about what we all can gain? Our licensing worker told us most teens in our state are going straight to group homes, like this young man did. Group homes can be awesome and right now they are necessary, but they aren’t families. Kids need families. I have no shame in absolutely begging people to open their eyes and take a risk. There is more support out there than you think. I am grateful for those 4 days to be reminded of how much we have, how fortunate we are, and how we truly have more to give. I am tired, but I am better off because of that young man.

To my nerf buddy, I pray the Lord brings a family to you. I pray for healing in your family. I pray that you will blossom with your creativity and energy and passion for life. I hope you never become hardened and distrusting. I hope you stay fearless and bold. I hope people will see the good in you and not write you off. Thanks for teaching me a little bit about tractors & county rap. We love you & you are a treasure.