He knows their name (Week of 1/23/17)

Realizing the importance of hope. The will to live diminishes without it. Boys at my internship have made decisions that have shaken their families, but they need to know there is hope. They can be successful. They are more than their mistakes. There are qualities in them worth sharing and the world needs them in it. They are more than screw ups.
And we ALL need hope. We all need to see the beauty than can come from ashes. We need to know that God takes broken things and makes them whole. It takes time. The road is often heard. But healing is possible.

When you pray for favor, and after 4 days of working with you your supervisor tells you she can see your care and love for people and your ease and enjoyment of teens. Only to God be the glory!

On another note, adoption is so scary. I am really struggling with the lack of concreteness as well as the reality that the biological parent(s) may be consistently involved. Of course, I want that! But also- my humanness, my selfishness, my proclivity to consider children as valuable for how they can make me feel good about me comes through. Please know I am no saint. It terrifies me. I'm afraid that I will love my children much more than they'll love me. I know their affections will be divided. I know I must love anyway and continue to ask God to help me love more unconditionally and more selflessly.  But just know I have these thoughts too. I'm scared. And this isn't easy. The lack of certainty about so much of it, requires more faith than I feel I have. So I need the Lord. I'm not doing this cause it sounds fun, and I already feel the weight of the sacrifice. I want to be transparent about the roller coaster of emotions and for all the "applause" I get from people, I want them to know that I'm fragile and sinful and selfish and loving older children I didn't raise is frightening yet exciting and I know we are meant to do and commanded to do it. So, I will. But I want to be able to be honest that it's hard & messy, too.

Looks like God is just showing off now. Had an hour and a half conversation with my supervisor about church, Christians, Christian counselors, what it means to follow Christ, heaven and hell, and much more. I leaned on the Holy Spirit and was able to share my heart and much of the Gospel with her. I know this is only the beginning!

You know their name.
I need not manufacture, manipulate, worry, or fear to fail them.
You know their name.
You love them more than I.

Heart is hurting for this country I call home. We need Christ followers to consider all life as valuable- the unborn, orphans of all ages, refugees, people of all religions, and I could go on. No life is more precious than another.

Realizing that I have become lax in daily evangelism or looking for opportunities to share Christ in my daily interactions and in my neighborhood. I think I give myself a pass since I'm "in ministry." But I don't want to waste any sphere of influence. I want to have eyes wide open for where God may use me.


  1. Patricia, I can understand your skepticism, your worries for the adventure you will soon be taking and I pray that everything goes smooth for you and your fears and hesitations will be eased through your strong belief in God. Love, GMP

    1. Thank you, Grandma. I know He will carry us through.

  2. Really enjoy these weekly musings. Keep it up lady!


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