This week in the life (1/16/17)


Sovereign God,
How fickle we are. We swiftly forget your ability and character & think a hiccup in our plan is a hiccup in yours. Forgive us for our lack of resolve in regard to our trust in You. Enable us to have as much steadfast trust in You as You deserve. Remove our worry and heal our unbelief. Forgive us for how we put too much weight in our current circumstances and help us grab hold of the joy we constantly have access to through You. Amen. 

Started today at my new internship, working with boys who have sexually harmed others. The stories of these boys reminds me so much of foster care and the children who are overlooked and really just have it rough. These boys have done some awful, heartbreaking, things. Then again, I look at them and I just see teenagers. They are kids. Kids who have had hell in their lives in numerous ways, and who don't know how to handle their sexuality. I can't openly talk about Jesus at this placement, but I am praying that even without direct words, they may feel His love for them through me. Keep my heart soft, Lord.

The Lord is moving. His timing really is perfect. I can see how He is working it all together. Today, there is hope that we may have the joy of adopting two boys I have had on my heart for months, and who I connected with ever since I met them over a year ago. They are 11 and 8 years old. They are funny, smart, and sassy, yet sweet. I was able to share my heart and learn more about their situation from their adoption worker today, whose office I sat in for about an hour. I don't know what story God is writing, or if we are the parents that God has for them and if they are the children He has for us, but I am increasingly becoming more excited and rooted to the idea of being a momma. Please join me in praying for these boys, that God would guard their hearts as they are in limbo and would give them hope to know that He has not forgotten them.

In awe of how God brings all things together -- answers prayers from years prior to bring people into my path that I may hopefully represent Him well to them. I am praying that even without words (as they are not welcome) that His love, kindness, and mercy would shine through me.

He is teaching me to realize the power of every moment to exemplify His character. In this setting, it's easy to remember that. May I become more aware of this importance in every setting.

The series of unfortunate events is a good cure for a lot of heavy stuff in one week and too much training and seminars.

"But real prayer, although it includes asking, means, as has been said, opening the life to God and KEEPING it open. All kinds of things can shut the door if we are not watching.  Sin always does it. Laziness does it. Indifference does it. Just being too busy to have time for God sometimes does it the most of all." // Mabel Thurston, The Adventure of Prayer

25 cent prayer books are my JAM.

Brett has been preaching on forgiveness at youth group. This stuck out to me:

If forgiveness is being set free, we must realize how enslaved we are to sin.
We would all feel such deep gratitude if we were in physical slavery or confinement and someone came to our rescue-- how much more infinite is the saving accomplished by Christ. How much more entrenched were we in our slavery (so entrenched we even thought of ourselves as free) and how much more excellent the freedom he offers! This freedom comes when accepting we are forgiven and by extending this forgiveness unto others.

I shared with my girls last night, but I'll share here too. I was a slave to the approval of others. I was a slave to maintaining a good image and always coming out on top. I was a slave to fear because I was constantly seeking control at all costs. I was a slave to pride, believing that coming out above others would make me feel valuable and worthy.

My efforts were futile. I never felt satisfied and experience joy until I was set free from the chains of my sin that hurt myself, hurt others, and cost Jesus His life.

Sin isn't always outward deeds obvious to the eyes of outsiders. My sin was mostly internal. I was praised at school and church more than I was ever rebuked. But inside my heart was cold and selfish and afraid. The Lord sees right through to the heart and cares little for our image. I praise Him for this-- for breaking me out of my denial that everything was working just fine for me. Forgiveness is one of life's greatest gifts!


  1. Thank you friend. Reading that helped and jolted me a bit. 🙂

    1. You are welcome! A jolt is needed every once in a while. Love you!


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