God is on His throne

       I am continually in awe and thankful for the way the Lord gently teaches and leads me. Recently, He has been teaching me a lesson I did not realize I needed to learn, involving how He ALONE is in control and possesses power. Yes, I am aware that this sounds increasingly elementary, but it is one thing for this idea to be in one's mental consciousness and another thing for it to be a part of one's being, an idea that actively affects decisions and thoughts. 

      Basically, the main lesson learned here is this: I am not responsible for what God chooses (or does not choose to do) in my own life. God is sovereign, and I am not. God did not move as boldly in every person's life as He did in the apostle Paul. God does not send angels to communicate messages to every person like He did to Mary and Joseph. Therefore, when I become frustrated because I think my life should be full of more "spiritual happenings," or should look more like the spiritual lives of others, I am only declaring that I know better than God and that He should work in my life the way I want Him to. I truly believe that the Lord has perfect timing and that He knows very well what He is doing. Sometimes, it is so easy to desire to fit man's definition of spiritual maturity, all the while totally missing what God wants to uniquely do in our own lives. My job is not to satisfy certain checkpoints of spirituality, but to consistently live a life in relationship to God that is open to whatever and wherever His Holy Spirit leads. If I live this kind of life, the kind that seeks the wisdom of God and listens for His still small voice, then I am walking in the will of God. The opinion and checklists of men do not matter. I am secure. 

     Similarly, it is easy for me to cast judgments on others. I know I have a unique story (WE ALL DO). It is so easy for us to impose what is natural to us onto others. Personally, I felt the presence of God from a very young age and it has never left me. My personality seeks to find order and gain the respect of others. I am not a daredevil and I do not need to "learn things for myself" in order to believe that they are true. I am very content with learning from other people (haha)! When viewing life simply from this perspective, I am often perplexed and frustrated when people I love and care about seem to miss the point. I don't understand why they want to experiment and explore other avenues outside of God. The Lord whispered the same message that I am not the judge of people, He is. And thank goodness not everyone is like me...for a lot of reasons! He is the author of every story, and the perfect author at that. I repent, God, for my desire to take the pen from your hand and write it my own way. Selfishly, I truly wish I could stop people from mistakes before they happen so I don't have to suffer and fear for their futures. This is not God's, plan, though. He uses weakness, mistakes, and rebellion for His glory like He always has. He uses mine just like He will use every person I worry for who allows Him to. 

      In short, I have learned both personally and as it applies to others, that I must continually relinquish total control to God. I don't want the control, God. I cannot run my life better than Your infinite wisdom can. I cannot guide the children You love better than You can, their creator. Help me to live my life with this truth running through my veins. Thank you for who You are, for who I am, and for who all the people I love are. Help me to accept myself and others, with all the unique strengths and weaknesses included. Help me to see with Your eyes and to rest in the fact that You are good, You are in control, and You love the people I love infinitely more than I ever could. 


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