Pardon me.

Sometimes, I truly am too hard on myself. I get so frustrated with myself when what I know in my head is not executed perfectly in my life. I know I am not perfect, and I don't think I try to be, but when I "mess up," or react in a way that I wish I didn't, I often feel very guilty and disappointed in myself. Sometimes I feel ashamed and embarrassed of myself. And I don't think that's how it's supposed to be. Not because I shouldn't care about when I make mistakes, but because I need to handle myself and my own flaws with more grace.

And I think I have created a lot of situations where other people have very high expectations for me. I don't blame them, since I have them for myself. But knowing that people have those expectations makes it hurt so much more when I think I "let them down." 

But here is the deal, self. Yes, I am talking to you. YOU ARE WHOLE IN THE EYES OF THE MOST HIGH GOD. Let your mistakes humble you and remind you of how much you need God. You are not supposed to do this life by yourself. These mistakes are reminders of what life would be like without God. Stop defending yourself and stop measuring yourself and stop making excuses for yourself. You don't have anything but dirty rags to defend. All your goodness comes from God, anyway! It makes sense that there are ugly parts of you that come out sometimes. You are not a god. You are a human being. God does not expect you to be perfect. He does; however, expect you to to continue to chase him and continue to grow. So, when you mess up (even if it is the same kind of mistake over and over again), fall to your knees and thank God for having mercy and love for you. Then stand up in confidence of what He has made you to be. When you hurt people, apologize. Try to think about them more and less about your agenda. Take the pressure off of yourself. Love with your whole heart. Give YOURSELF a break, Patricia. 

In other totally unrelated news, I am overwhelmingly blessed with a beautiful family, the best fiancee, and the most creative and supportive friends. May these blessings turn my face toward You. I love You. 


Popular posts from this blog

In the thick of it.

I told you so.

My kids are worth loving: Adopting older kids FAQ''s and other helpful tips when talking to adoptive parents