It's a very strange feeling when you feel you have to prove to the world why you want your kids. I know what you're thinking, You don't have to explain yourself! You don't have to prove anything! And, you would be right. I don't owe it to anyone. If I'm honest though, I know most of the questions that come are based in ignorance and a lack of exposure to the need/availability/crisis that is adoption and foster care. So, I don't answer because I feel pressured, but because I genuinely want people to be educated. I want them to know that despite the challenge, time, sacrifice, and "risk," my children deserve all of that and more spent on them. They deserve to have a home where they are accepted and seen, no matter their age or their "troubled" backgrounds (much of which they had no control of).
Anyway, I could go on about that all day, but I won't (you're welcome).
Below I will highlight the most frequently asked questions about ou…
I told you so.
Honestly, my biggest fear is receiving this sentiment from people once our kids get here and it's freaking hard for us. Throughout our process, I've heard/seen it all: the horror stories, concerned looks, reminders of baggage, reminders that babies are easier, reminders kids are expensive, reminders that I won't be their only mom and they may have struggles and I'm too young to be their mom and I'm not the same race and it will strain my marriage and that I can't save them.
(Run on sentence on purpose becaus that's how all these reminders feel - endless and just on and on they go.)
I'm worried that when I'm asked, "how are you?"and I give an honest answer about the pain and hurt and sorrow that comes when you're loving children you didn't raise, that people will look and feel and respond with an "I told you so." They may not say it out loud, but I know the exact look that will be on their faces. They'l…
One of my goals for this year to spend less time watching Netflix and more time writing and just being still. If I sit down to write for 10 minutes a day, maybe I can make something beautiful. Or, maybe I will simply be more grateful and self-aware. Either way, I'm technically starting on a Tuesday so due excuse the gaps.
Tuesday. I laugh. Puppies- cute, exhausting, small yet quickly take up a big space and time gap. I continue to realize how little I know, how prone we all are to mistakes, how love requires patience, and how even in things I don't think I really want, God is forming in me qualities that delight Him and benefit who I am made to become. The puppies have also made me slow down. And it is a huge contrast to how fast paced I usually feel on the inside. I want to be more present and realize there is no need to rush and hurry. I am in the hand of my Maker. He can handle it.
Wednesday. There's not a baby growing in my tummy, but my kids are growing in my heart. It'…