A firm foundation, tested and true.

 

Today I sang at church for the first time since before my daughter was born. The last time I was on stage, I was out of breath and my feet were aching with the extra weight. I was ready for my daughter to be born, ready for the next season of life. I didn't know it would be 14 months before I would be back on the stage. I didn't know that my daughter would be born with an ultra-rare genetic condition that would cause numerous layers of medical complexity and ultimately take her life. Today, 14 months later, my worship costs me something. I sang a song that I declared at her service; a song I sang through the hardest year of my life- Firm Foundation, by Cody Carnes. It's true, I have never been more glad to trust in Jesus. I have had storms in my life before. But boy, the wind has never blown with such a gust as it did the past year. I was overcome with emotion when singing those words in front of the church. Fittingly, the sermon today was about being suited up and prepared to battle our enemy. He wants a foothold in my life. Today, even though I sang it with cracks in my voice and tears in my eyes, I know the truth. I know that ultimately I am safe with the Lord. I know I won't be going under because He holds me. I keep telling the enemy that his power in this world is NOTHING. The game is fixed. I know how this story ends. There was a time when many worship songs were songs of declaration of what I would do when the storm would come. Now, the storm has ravaged me. I am on the other side and I sit with the wreckage. I'm standing on that foundation that remains, asking God to help me rebuild what has been lost. 

To stand on a pile of dreams and hopes that did not come true on this side of heaven and sing from the mess is a new kind of song.

 I still know who God is. I know who I am. I know He loves me. That foundation kept me through my nightmare and it keeps me today. That foundation CAN weather the storm. Hallelujah.

Matthew 7:24 

"Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock."

Listen to the song here